A NarutoStyle Christmas Concert
by Dark Nemesis 7
Summary: It's that time of the year again that teachers hate.They have to find the perfect performance for the Christmas Concert,which is especially hard if you're working with 5-year-olds.This is the funny story of a bunch of uncooperative students who don't even


Well,you see,I thought of this one day and wrote it down.It's a story about the Christmas Pageant for Konohagakure No Sato,back in the days where the cast of Naruto were Kinder-Nins (A word I got from someone,if u want I'll take it off.) Oh,and if I owned Naruto,I wouldn't be listening to the loud and abrasive noises coming from Animal Crossing right now.  
  
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"Wow,they're so little.Are you sure they're practiced?" The principal asked the Kinder-nin teacher.He nodded."I let them do an easy song,and just in case they couldn't memorize it in three days,I gave them lyric sheets.They're only doing 'Nuttin' for Christmas.' It's not a hard song." The principal looked stricken. He whispered back,"They're in KINDERGARTEN.They can't read." Both people looked horrifiedly towards the stage,wondering what tragic result this Concert would bring.  
  
It was the night of the Christmas Concert,and just three nights ago half of the Kindergarten students had called in sick,so the teacher had had to switch performances quickly. He had decided upon doing 'Nuttin' for Christmas,' but had had to call three children from the older grade,Grade 1,to help.Now,the last performance of the night threatened to be a disaster with the hyperactive children not having had enough time to practice the song correctly.They could only watch the twelve children on stage.  
  
The children were having a quiet conversation,then one shouted,"This is stupid.I can't read," and chucked their lyrics to the ground.The others murmured their agreement with her as they did the same.Then the girl,who was wearing a purple dress,white tights and black dress shoes with her blonde hair done up in a ponytail,known as Ino,shouted,"I know how to start this song!", cleared her throat,and began.   
  
"I broke my bat on Choji's head."  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!" Tenten,who was wearing a red pair of pants and a white shirt,and Rock Lee,who was wearing green pants and a green shirt,chorused.  
  
The principal looked on in horror."She actually did that," the Kindergarten teacher whispered.  
  
Hinata twiddled her fingers together.She was wearing a pink dress that went down to her feet and had her short blue hair done up in little pink-bobble-elastic pigtails.She sqirmed uncomfortably and whispered,  
  
"I...Um...I-I...I hid a frog in sister's bed..."  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!" Tenten and Rock Lee yelled.  
  
Hyuga Hiashi,in the row of chairs behind the principal,whispered to Sasuke's mother, Itachi Sr.,"She actually did that to poor Hanabi." The principal and teacher sighed simultaniously.  
  
"I TOOK A PEE ON MOMMY'S RUG!" Kiba yelled at the top of his lungs.The puppy in his arms,Akamaru,barked.When the other kids said,"Eeew...",the young Inuzaka looked at them irratably and said,"Whaat? It's true." They rolled their eyes.  
  
"Somebody snitched on me," Tenten and Rock Lee said somewhat reluctantly.  
  
The Inuzakas in the row in front of the teachers groaned."I was hoping he wouldn't bring that up," the wife whispered while looking at her son,who was dressed in blue and yellow polka- dotted leggings and a mud-covered white shirt.  
  
"I made Rock Lee eat a bug!" Neji yelled out.Rock Lee sat down,bawling his eyes out."I-I didn't w-wanna re-remember that!" he said."Stop crying!" Tenten shouted and kicked Rock Lee in the head.He shut up.  
  
Neji's mother,whom the Kindergaten teacher recognized,had raised her eyebrows at her young son in his white shirt and black leggings.  
  
There was complete silence except for a steady loud munching noise as Choji ate.He swallowed."What?" he said,looking around."It's your turn,stupid!" Ino shouted,picking up her lyrics and whacking him over the head with them."Oww..." he said,rubbing his head.  
  
"Bosht shom gohm wisha pehmy swug."  
  
Ino hit him again,this time on his tuxedoed back."Say that again! And NOT with your mouth full!" she upbraided.He swallowed and sang,  
  
"Bought some gum with a penny slug."  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!" Tenten and Rock Lee yelled.  
  
"That's my boy!" Chomaru Akimichi said as he videotaped the whole process.  
  
Suddenly,Hinata,who was shaking,sat down as a darker pink spot appeared on her dress,crying.The other kids,knowing what had happened long before the adults even had a clue, backed away,with another chorus of 'Eeews.' The teacher slapped his forehead and stood up to take care of the mess,and Hiashi silently handed him a green dress.Both knew that Hinata had peed herself.  
  
When he got up there and helped Hinata change (she was wearing leggings and a t-shirt underneath),he asked her why she had wet her pants.She said,"I-I was sc-scared.I h-held it i-in until th-the chorus,b-but s-singing in f-front of all th-those p-people make-makes me nervous." He sighed and helped her back up onto the stage,and all the little Kinder-nins started on the chorus,  
  
"Oh,I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas.  
  
Mommy and Daddy are mad.  
  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad."  
  
This time it was the turn of a little kid in a ragged brown raincoat two sizes too big and black leggings that were dirty and too small for him.It was evident that this child that made the crowd go completely quiet lived off of the food from the food bank that the school had. Naruto started the second chorus,singing in a bright and pleasant voice,  
  
"I put a tack on teacher's chair."  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!"  
  
The teacher groaned.His butt hurt just remembering it.It had now become pretty evident that these kids only sang the truth.  
  
There was complete silence.Naruto yelled,"I'm hungry.I want ramen." "It's your turn,you know,dobe," Sasuke said,in his black tuxedo,poking Shikamaru in the head with his lyrics. Shikamaru,in a dark green t-shirt and black baggy jeans,grunted as he woke up from his sleep. "What?" he said annoyedly."Can't a kid get a little shut-eye around here?" Sasuke shouted,"It's YOUR turn,dobe!" Shikamaru rolled his eyes,sighed as though this was something really hard,and sang,  
  
"I tied a knot in Ino's hair."  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!" Tenten and Rock Lee chorused.  
  
The principal rolled his eyes at the child's laziness,then realized it was genetic when he heard Shikato in the next aisle arguing with his wife about choosing what Shikamaru wore being too much effort so he just gave him a tye-dye shirt and some jeans that hadn't fit him and got his son to cut off the long legs so he could wear them.  
  
Ino punched Shikamaru in the head for saying that.  
  
Sakura Haruno was wearing a red dress that went down to her knees with some white tights and black shoes that screamed expensive to match.Her hair was done up Tenten style and was tied with red ribbons.She folded her hands nicely over her dress,smiled in a prim,rich sort of way, then yelled at the top of her lungs,  
  
"LA LALALALALALALALALA LAAAA!",  
  
then sat down and continued gluing pieces of her cut up lyrics to her dress."That's not what you're supposed to SING,forehead!" Ino said.Sakura looked at her with wide eyes,then punched her in the nose,saying,"Shut yer mouth,Pork Food!" Then she turned around again to face the audience and screeched,  
  
"I DID A DANCE ON MOMMY'S PLANTS!"  
  
The teacher sighed.'She was almost normal,' he thought.He glanced over at Sakura's rich family.The father was playing Pokemon Red while Mrs.Haruno watched while muttering,"My poor flowers..."  
  
Sasuke Uchiha looked solemnly forwards,not realizing it was his turn.Suddenly,from the audience,the other Uchiha boy,Itachi,stood up and yelled,"SASUKE,A MOUSE!" Sasuke screamed like a girl and grabbed Tenten's arm,yelling,"A mouse?!? WHERE???" Tenten glared at him angrily and said,"There IS no mouse,doofus." He immediately let go of her and straightened himself up, saying,"I knew that." When he still didn't sing,Neji nudged him and said,"Sing,baka." Sasuke shot an angry glance at him and said,  
  
"Climbed a tree and tore my pants!"  
  
After he proclaimed this,he turned around and showed everyone his ripped pants.The mother Uchiha put her head in her hands,saying,"I had hoped he wouldn't wear those."  
  
Meanwhile,the next singer apparently either didn't know or didn't care that it was his turn.Shino Aburame had started to cry when he got up on stage and hadn't stopped since.He was sitting on the bench,curled into a little ball and rocking back and forth.When Choji nudged him and he didn't move,Kiba nudged him,whispering,"It's your turn,Shino." Shino sniffed and said audibly,"Nuh-uh.I want candy." Choji backed away."Well,you're not gettin' mine," he said,and started to suck on a candy cane.Shino noticed,and started to bawl louder."But I WANT some!" he whined in protest."Nuh-uh,"Choji said,shaking his head."I want it! GIMME!!!" Shino said,suddenly jumping up and pouncing on Choji,trying to get the candy cane away from him.Suddenly,in front of the shocked audience,Shino unleashed every bug in his body onto the poor unwitting Akimichi. Choji yelped in surprise as the insects swarmed him and Shino yelled,"HA HAHAHA HAAA! GET IT,MY FRIENDS!!!"  
  
The teacher silently mounted the stage and pulled the Kinder-nin off of his fellow classmate.But Shino wasn't going down without a fight."I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES I WANT SWEETIES!!!" he screamed in defiance.Then his parents,dressed in a trenchcoats and sunglasses just like their son,gave him one single Nerd and he shut up,then sang,  
  
"Filled the sugar bowl with ants!"  
  
The father groaned on the way down from the stage.The teacher could tell as he walked down the stairs that the adult Aburame had probably tasted those ants.  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!" Tenten and Rock Lee sang enthusiastically.  
  
"I lost Ferdy!" Shino suddenly screeched,interrupting the singing.He immediately sat down and began to cry again."What's 'Ferdy?'" Rock Lee asked.Shino sniffed and said,"He's my bestest bug EVER,an' I LOST him." Choji,on instict,pulled something out from the back of his pants,held it out and said,"This it?" Shino jumped up,grabbed the shrivelled butterfly out of Choji's hand and screamed,"My Ferdy! You almost killed him!" He sat down,stroking the colourful little thing and cooing to it.Limply Ferdy raised a wing,then dropped it again.Shino,still crying but this time with relief,gently held the butterfly in his hands and readied himself to sing again.And sing the five-year olds (with the exception of Rock Lee,Tenten and Neji) did:  
  
"So,I'm gettin' nuttin for Christmas.  
  
Mommy and Daddy are mad.  
  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad."  
  
Next it was Rock Lee's turn.He smiled Gai-style,folded his hands across his chest and said,  
  
"I won't be seeing Santa Claus."  
  
Tenten and Rock Lee both sang,"Somebody snitched on me!" then Tenten kicked him in the shin,saying,"Don't lie.You've been good." She then turned,smiling,to the audience and sang,  
  
"He won't come visit me because..."  
  
And both sang,  
  
"Somebody snitched on me!"  
  
The principal looked at Tenten's family,wondering what made Tenten think it was alright to hit people so much,and saw that her father was a skinny man in a buisness suit and bifocals and her mother was a punk,in a black leather jacket,a black shirt with the inscription 'If I was paraphobic I'd run screaming from you," a black plastic miniskirt,a pair of black platform shoes and Goth makeup to the extreme.Every edge of her clothing was studded.He raised his eyebrows when he saw the gun in its holster at her waist.The principal turned around again,eyebrows still raised.  
  
Rock Lee didn't even make the audience wait for the next verse;he knew the lyrics too well for that.He just belted out,  
  
"Next year I'll be going straight!"  
  
And Tenten continued,  
  
"Next year I'll be good,just wait!"  
  
Then both sang together,  
  
"I'd start now but it's too late,somebody snitched on me!"  
  
Just as all of the kids drew breath for the chorus,Kiba yelped and dropped Akamaru,then turned and pointed at Choji,saying,"He BIT me!" Choji tried to look innocent."I did NOT." But Kiba insisted,yelling,"HE BIT ME!!!" Choji sat down in a huff,saying,"Fine,I did,but it's not my fault! You have dog treats in your pocket!" Kiba pulled them out and threw them straight at Choji's forehead,and in a moody voice said,"Fine,you can have them,just as long as you don't bite me again." Choji smiled and gulped them all down.Akamaru hopped back into Kiba's arms,and the children all sang,"  
  
"Oh,I'm gettin' nuttin for Christmas.  
  
Mommy and Daddy are mad.  
  
I'm gettin' nuttin' for Christmas,  
  
'Cause I ain't been nuttin' but bad."  
  
Then each child drew breath,and together sang the last verse,  
  
"So you better be good,  
  
Whatever you do,  
  
'Cause if you're bad I'm warning you,  
  
You'll get nuttin' for Christmas."  
  
Then Naruto yelled,"YEAAAAAH!",Kiba stomped angrily on Choji's toe,Shino started to cry again,Hinata fainted,Choji yelped because of his toe,Shikamaru made like he was narcoleptic and fell asleep,Ino threw her lyrics across the stage,Sasuke stomped away,Sakura ran around shrieking,"LALALALALALALALALALALAAAA!",Rock Lee bowed and smiled like Gai again,Neji sat down plugging his ears because of Sakura and Tenten showed the audience the middle finger on both of her hands.The teacher and principal sighed,both thinking the same thought: 'These kids will NEVER amount to any good.'  
  
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Well,how you like? Review,please! Oh,and if you are the person who wrote the word 'Kinder-Nin' before me,I owe it to ya,and if you don't want me to use it,like I said before,I'll take it off.Well,R&R!  
  
P.S:To be paraphobic is to be afraid of perverts. 


End file.
